Just as the life we thought we had evaporates, we have to face some painful questions, not least: We went for a meal, and ended the night with a pretty good snog on my doorstep. Third, I have known of several couples who entered marriage with the understanding that one of them was gay. The sense of hurt and betrayal is enormous, often leading to divorce. Would mine not have followed the same trajectory had I married a straight man? Should I, a gay man, marry a woman?
But my heart also went out to his wife.
Their wives know, and they make it work. I'm a gay man, but I'm married to a woman and we've had kids together. Instead, I've decided to not only share excerpts from my book about the journey, but to first, provide personal experiences from a sampling of fellow travelers who chose to say "I do" for all the wrong reasons. Hmmm, the same factors that are needed to make all relationships successful. When One Partner is Gay".
My first inkling that something was amiss came 15 years ago, and it was nothing short of a bombshell. Yes it is totally possible and many couples do it. I was never angry because he was gay. When a gay person comes out to his or her straight spouse, the couple is likely to embark on a roller-coaster ride of emotional stages that often encompasses humiliation, revenge, renewed hope, rage, and finally, resolution. It did for about 5 years.